Depression and hitting the lottery

From the recent newsletter :  

Hey y’all!  Did ya miss me??? ;)  

I swear I did NOT fall off the face of the earth, but I sure tried to. 

Let me backtrack a bit…

You might recall I started this thing called the LEAP protocol about a month or so before Christmas.  As you know, if you’ve been reading these newsletters, I did amazing on it.  I lost 15 pounds in 5 weeks and many of my health issues that had been plaguing me vanished. 

But, as humans do, I struggled with the temptations of the holidays. And I fell victim to stress!  

>> Holy balls, it was stressful this year. <<

I am a single mom now.  And in addition to trying to grow my nutrition business, primarily raising two kids, care for two pets and manage a household, I run a seasonal company that gets super busy during the holidays.  I am also working part time to help support these crazy kids, and in the meantime attempting to be healthy by exercising and cooking everything from scratch! Oh, and I really, really hate winter. So you can say I lost my marbles a bit and ate my face off for a few weeks, thinking I’d hop right back on the LEAP train after the holidays were over.  

But the holidays came and went and I was getting deeper and deeper into depression. Like, woah. If you saw the video I posted on my facebook page, you already know I had become pretty suicidal.  It got really bad.  I wanted desperately to just end my “horrible” life. Of course logically I knew it would pass, but when you get into that dark of a space, it doesn’t matter. You can really only feel sad and worthless. You don’t want to talk to anyone. You don’t want anyone to help you.  I was convinced that I was a waste of breath and I actually found myself mad at my kids because they were what was preventing me from following through with it.  

Yep.  

My finances sucked. My romantic relationships were in the shitter. I was betrayed by someone I deeply loved and trusted. I had gained some weight back and didn’t think I’d ever get back on track. I was getting nowhere with my business. I was cold and miserable and my kids were eating Doritos for breakfast.  What was the point of going on? I was clearly failing at all the things.

But.

But…

There was that damn voice inside me. Telling me crazy shit like, “It’s all going to be fine.  I’ve got you.” and “You’re amazing and capable and need to be alive so you can change the world.”  I tried to ignore the voice as best as I could. I drank. I ate. I cried. I slept.  But, in the long run, obviously, that inner voice won. 

>> That fucker is relentless. << 

I finally got the courage to see my doctor. You should know that I am NOT a fan of prescription drugs.  I only take a natural thyroid medication and normally would recommend doing everything possible to avoid going on prescriptions (in fact, part of my work as a nutritionist is to get people OFF their medications), however, in this case it was literally life or death.   I started taking a new medication for anxiety and depression and within a week I was starting to breathe again. I wasn’t suffocating under my own heaviness anymore.  I started going to the gym.  I managed to get there 5 days, despite still struggling a little and hating the cold weather.  One week became two, and then two became three and next thing you know my business is on fire, my finances took a miraculous (i’m talking MIRACLES here, people) turn for the better, i’m back to losing weight, my personal relationships are better than EVER and my kids are only eating Doritos as snacks now. (hey! baby steps, people!) 

Once the deep depression subsided, I remember at one point I was lying on the bathroom floor, just allowing all the feelings to wash over me. And, I started cry-laughing hysterically. 

>> I wondered if I had officially gone crazy.  <<

Or had I just had the biggest realization of my life?  This overwhelming feeling of peace hit me like a ton of bricks and I remember thinking..no, KNOWING….that God (universe...divine...whatever you want to call it) has me. He’s holding me tight. Always has. Always will. And I can let go now.

Trust.

Love.

Be.

Everything is working out SO much better than I could have ever dreamed!

Happiness.

Faith.

Gratitude.

Now that the dust has settled and I’m on a regular schedule at the gym, I started back on the LEAP protocol.  I truly did feel amazing on it.  And I’m still studying to get certified as a LEAP therapist. So that’s all still a go!  But sometimes you just need to pause. Slow down and catch your breath.  And once you’re ready…hop back on that train.  

P.S. What's the lottery got to do with anything??, I didn't hit the lottery, but lately my life sure feels like I did!  Happiness, love, amazing friends, beautiful opportunities and a rich life full of magic….feels like hitting the lottery to me!  ;)

{{ You’re Stronger Than You Think }}

No, I’m not a size 2. I don’t always eat what I’m supposed to. I have curves. I'm not even close to perfect. (Don't want to be! I'm too damn good of a baker to even pretend like I could be! )😂 ;) )🍪)

But guess what?? I'll never. EVER. stop working for a stronger, more fit body.

I’ll never stop trying to be a better me.

I’ll never stop working for a richer spiritual life.

I'll never stop working for more challenging experiences and deeper relationships.

If there’s one thing I've learned this year (already!) it’s that I'm quite the fighter. I can get super depressed. I can wish I wasn't alive. I can be betrayed by someone I loved and trusted. I can hit rock bottom...but I just keep going.

One breath at a time.

One foot in front of the other.

One day at the gym after the other.

One small improvement after another.

And the reward for not giving up? Self confidence. A deep knowing that no matter what comes my way, I am stronger than it is. A love for myself like I’ve never had. And so much inner peace. 🙏

I don't need to compare myself to anyone but me. I'm a better version of me today than I was a year ago. And next year I'll be even better. And that’s all that matters.

I’ll never be perfect, but I am unstoppable.

Watch me.

(And P.S. You're unstoppable too! <3 )

31 Days of December challenge, plus a SALE!

Happy December to all!  This month is always my craziest with my other business (DipSticks Gourmet Pretzels), so what would any normal person do?  Make it even crazier!

I am not only introducing my first ever workout challenge for the whole month, but I'm also offering a big discount on my nutrition services!  I want each and every one of you to have ZERO excuses for not staying healthy this holiday season!

Ok, here is the 31 Days of December challenge.  Treat it exactly like the 12 days of Christmas.  For example, on the first day of December, just do that exercise.  On the second day of December, do day 2 *and* day 1.  On the third day of December, do day 3's exercise PLUS day 2's exercise, PLUS day 1's exercise....and so on and so on until you have 31 days to do all in one day!  HEY! I said it was a challenge!  :)   And please!  If this is too much for you, or if it's too easy for you, feel free to adjust it to suit your workout needs.  This is mostly for fun and to make sure you are all active at least one time per day during December! I created this to be easy to do for any fitness level, and to do from anywhere, with not much special equipment. You need a jump rope, some weights (optional) and a box or stairs to jump on, and that's it!  Have fun with this!  I'd LOVE to see some videos of you guys doing this, too.  How fun would that be?!

Ready.....Set.....Go!

Day 1: 1 minute jumping rope

Day 2: 2 box jumps

Day 3: 3 side push ups

Day 4: 4 reverse crunches

Day 5: 5 burpees burping (hee hee)

Day 6: 6 toe raises

Day 7: 7 bicep curls

Day 8: 8 V-up sit ups

Day 9: 9 falling push ups

Day 10: 10 box jumps

Day 11: 11 plank jacks

Day 12: 12 star jumps

Day 13: 13 rapid squats

Day 14: 14 triceps dips

Day 15: 15 second side planks

Day 16: 16 reverse crunches

Day 17: 17 speed skaters

Day 18: 18 mountain climbers

Day 19: 19 jumping jacks

Day 20: 20 second sprint intervals on the treadmill (try to do 3 sets)

Day 21: 21 walking lunges

Day 22: 22 side push ups

Day 23: 23 bicycle crunches

Day 24: 24 butt raises

Day 25: 25 push ups

Day 26: 26 arm circles

Day 27: 27 leg lifts on each side (use weights if you want)

Day 28: 28 Russian twists (use a weight or weighted ball if possible)

Day 29: 29 jump squats

Day 30: 30 second plank
Day 31: 31 stair step-ups

If you don't know what any of these exercises are, they can all be found on google, or you can contact me for more direction.

Now, for the nutrition services discount.  I am going to waive the initial 2 hour consultation fee (a $150 value!)  for anyone who signs up for 3 or more private sessions with me. This can be ONLINE as well as IN PERSON.  The online clients have different steps to follow, but the support and information is the same.

IF you are interested in these services, please check out my site, decide how many sessions you would like, and email/call me to get set up!  Easy peasy.


Let's recap:
Fitness challenge
Nutrition services discounted
Daily ramblings on nutrition, fitness, and fun on the ol' FB page
Private motivation group on FB
Fort Wayne support group meetings

I'd say we've got all of our bases covered!  Let's do this!!  Let's show the holidays who's BOSS!!