Saturday, August 18, 2018

Touch me fall


Ok so that title has practically nothing to do with this particular blog, but I do have Indigo Girls playing on vinyl as I type this, so work with me here.  

To say I’ve had a pretty stressful month is quite the understatement. I can’t go into too many details but let’s just say it’s been bad.  Like, alcoholic-inducing, is 2018 trying to kill me bad.

I’ve been in somewhat of a fight or flight mode for weeks.  Running on air with no time to chill. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an only child or because I’m an introvert (or am i an introvert because i am an only child???) but I NEED my alone time.  Lots of it. Introverts, do ya feel me? It’s not like, “Ooh I just want to be home.” It’s literally I can’t function if I don’t recharge my batteries….at my own home….alone as can be.  As a single mom that’s hard enough most days. But these last few weeks have made it nearly impossible.

SO I decided a few days ago to make today a down day.  I had to cancel some plans and rearrange a few things but I was determined to have NO REASON to leave the house.  Of course that immediately means everyone and their grandma wants plans with me all of a sudden.  Including one guy I was supposed to go on a date with. We had rescheduled a few times already so I knew when I told him no (again) it would be an issue. And it was.  But I stuck to mah guns and said no anyway.  And holy shit am I glad I did.

For one thing, it was the best day ever. I got myself some starbucks. Grabbed some groceries.  Worked around the house a bit. Lit some candles. Listened to Indigo Girls and Patty Griffin on vinyl. Ordered an area rug. Read some much neglected books.  HEAVEN. 

And for two, he really showed his true colors as far as I’m concerned.  He knows what kind of stress I’ve been dealing with and anyone with a heart should have said, “I totally get it. You’ve been through a lot. I’m here if you need me” instead of cutting all ties/unfriending me like a big baby. A BIG baby, I tell ya. (Single ladies, watch for these kinds of red flags. They tell you a lot about what he’ll be like in the future.)

NO ONE should ever make you feel bad for taking some down time to regroup and reenergize.   In fact if someone truly cares about you they should recognize your need for it and make sure you’re getting it in.  Especially introverts. I truly believe realizing I was an introvert and then really focusing on allowing myself alone time on a regular basis has made all the difference in the world with my ability to cope with all the things. 

When we operate under constant stress, we're bound to burn out.  Taking some down time isn't just good for you, it helps you be your best for everyone around you.  It's a win-win if ever there was one.

So, take my advice and listen to your soul.  Pick a day.  Say no a whole bunch. (Do not feel guilty about it!) Do your favorite things. And breathe.  xoxo


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