Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Phases of a narcissistic relationship

I've recently become aware of something called a narcissist.  I hadn't previously known much about this disorder, and many times I wish I still didn't know about it.  But, the reality of it is that at some point in our lives we will come into contact with one and it's best to understand what it is and how it can affect us...as well as how to avoid it like the plague.

This could be a parent/child relationship, a working relationship, or a romantic relationship.  There are different kinds of narcissists as well, and it's important not to lump just anyone who has a big ego into this category.

It's also important to understand what about you led them to you (yes our energies attract this) and what in you was Ok with being treated the way you were/what was drawn to this personality type in the first place. I'll cover that in future articles.

In this article I am going to highlight the 3 phases of being in a relationship with a narcissist.  Unfortunately, you won't know you are in this kind of relationship unless you're in phase 2 or later.  Because stage one is so euphoric and "perfect", we people pleasers/fixers/dreamers tend to fall head over heals with this person in stage one.  But, sadly (or luckily, depending on how you view it), it won't last...


Phases of Narcissistic Relationships:

**The Idolization Phase** (aka "lovebombing")
They are hyper-vigilant in their pursuit and will project the perfect image that their victim wants them to be. They are excessively caring, loving and attentive at this stage. They shower their targets with attention, compliments and literally sweep them off their feet.  It is likely that you will be presented with gifts, trips, special thoughtful acts and they will make you feel like you are “their soul mate” or that “they’ve never loved anyone this way before.”  

Narcissists need approval and lots of it. And they need attention and lots of it. (you’ll find them on lots of social media/posting many selfies carefully crafting the image they want people to believe.) This “new supply” you are providing gives them this attention…for now…and they use it to their advantage.

**The Devaluation Stage**

They become moody and agitated easily, blaming you for even the slightest transgression. They pick on your insecurities and highlight them under the guise of “helping improve your life”. You find yourself walking on eggshells, trying to avoid arguments.  The narcissist will be heard saying things such as "You're the only person who misunderstands what I say. You're totally over-emotional” or "You're the only person in the world I have these problems with.” The gift giving fades away and the gaslighting begins (making you feel “crazy” for your beliefs and causing you to doubt your own reality) They are never wrong, and you find yourself apologizing for things that are not your fault.  You may begin to see red flags and sense you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, but most of the time you make excuses because “they are usually so loving” or “this only happens occasionally”.

**The Discard Phase**

It is almost baffling to watch the ease at which a narcissist can pull away from his partners. Many targets are left asking themselves, “Did he ever love me? Did I mean anything to him?” The narcissist discards you when your usefulness has run out. They are almost incapable of not being in a relationship and move on almost immediately, oftentimes before the other relationship has ended.  It will be as though the relationship never happened, and in some cases the narcissist will start discrediting the victim as a way to keep their “perfect” image in tact.  Remember, the narcissist is never to blame and will defend tooth and nail anything others deem inappropriate or wrong.

The ending of this kind of relationship can be very damaging and it's extremely important NOT to blame yourself or lower your self worth (especially if they moved on quickly with someone else).  It is very important to forgive yourself for "falling for it" and learn as much as you can to avoid it in the future.  Learn to LOVE YOUR DAMN SELF and get on with being amazing.  xo

Have you had experiences with a narcissistic relationship?  Comment below!

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

To die for cobb salad!

Here's just a quick post for the cobb salad I just posted today on instagram and facebook.  It's not really a recipe, per se, but the details might at least help you recreate it yourself!  It hit the spot.  :)



Ingredients:
Romaine lettuce/spinach
Hard boiled egg
Grilled chicken and venison
Avocado
Bacon
Tomatoes
Toasted, slivered almonds (a very key component, I must say!)
Green olives
Green onions
Black pepper

And that's pretty much it for the salad. Use whatever quantities of each you'd like.

I also made a quick sugar-free honey (well, honey-less) mustard dressing too!  I didn't measure (of course, ugh) but it's approximately:

1 T. yellow mustard
1 t. Rice wine vinegar
1-2 t. mayo
3-4 drops of plain liquid stevia (to taste!)
Lots of cracked pepper
And then I slowly drizzled in walnut oil until consistency and amount was right.  I think it was probably 1-2 T or so but it only made enough for one salad, so don't add too much! :)

Enjoy! xo

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Depression and hitting the lottery

From the recent newsletter :  



Hey y’all!  Did ya miss me??? ;)  

I swear I did NOT fall off the face of the earth, but I sure tried to. 

Let me backtrack a bit…

You might recall I started this thing called the LEAP protocol about a month or so before Christmas.  As you know, if you’ve been reading these newsletters, I did amazing on it.  I lost 15 pounds in 5 weeks and many of my health issues that had been plaguing me vanished. 

But, as humans do, I struggled with the temptations of the holidays. And I fell victim to stress!  

>> Holy balls, it was stressful this year. <<

I am a single mom now.  And in addition to trying to grow my nutrition business, primarily raising two kids, care for two pets and manage a household, I run a seasonal company that gets super busy during the holidays.  I am also working part time to help support these crazy kids, and in the meantime attempting to be healthy by exercising and cooking everything from scratch! Oh, and I really, really hate winter. So you can say I lost my marbles a bit and ate my face off for a few weeks, thinking I’d hop right back on the LEAP train after the holidays were over.  

But the holidays came and went and I was getting deeper and deeper into depression. Like, woah. If you saw the video I posted on my facebook page, you already know I had become pretty suicidal.  It got really bad.  I wanted desperately to just end my “horrible” life. Of course logically I knew it would pass, but when you get into that dark of a space, it doesn’t matter. You can really only feel sad and worthless. You don’t want to talk to anyone. You don’t want anyone to help you.  I was convinced that I was a waste of breath and I actually found myself mad at my kids because they were what was preventing me from following through with it.  

Yep.  

My finances sucked. My romantic relationships were in the shitter. I was betrayed by someone I deeply loved and trusted. I had gained some weight back and didn’t think I’d ever get back on track. I was getting nowhere with my business. I was cold and miserable and my kids were eating Doritos for breakfast.  What was the point of going on? I was clearly failing at all the things.

But.

But…

There was that damn voice inside me. Telling me crazy shit like, “It’s all going to be fine.  I’ve got you.” and “You’re amazing and capable and need to be alive so you can change the world.”  I tried to ignore the voice as best as I could. I drank. I ate. I cried. I slept.  But, in the long run, obviously, that inner voice won. 

>> That fucker is relentless. << 

I finally got the courage to see my doctor. You should know that I am NOT a fan of prescription drugs.  I only take a natural thyroid medication and normally would recommend doing everything possible to avoid going on prescriptions (in fact, part of my work as a nutritionist is to get people OFF their medications), however, in this case it was literally life or death.   I started taking a new medication for anxiety and depression and within a week I was starting to breathe again. I wasn’t suffocating under my own heaviness anymore.  I started going to the gym.  I managed to get there 5 days, despite still struggling a little and hating the cold weather.  One week became two, and then two became three and next thing you know my business is on fire, my finances took a miraculous (i’m talking MIRACLES here, people) turn for the better, i’m back to losing weight, my personal relationships are better than EVER and my kids are only eating Doritos as snacks now. (hey! baby steps, people!) 

Once the deep depression subsided, I remember at one point I was lying on the bathroom floor, just allowing all the feelings to wash over me. And, I started cry-laughing hysterically. 

>> I wondered if I had officially gone crazy.  <<

Or had I just had the biggest realization of my life?  This overwhelming feeling of peace hit me like a ton of bricks and I remember thinking..no, KNOWING….that God (universe...divine...whatever you want to call it) has me. He’s holding me tight. Always has. Always will. And I can let go now.

Trust.

Love.

Be.

Everything is working out SO much better than I could have ever dreamed!

Happiness.

Faith.

Gratitude.


Now that the dust has settled and I’m on a regular schedule at the gym, I started back on the LEAP protocol.  I truly did feel amazing on it.  And I’m still studying to get certified as a LEAP therapist. So that’s all still a go!  But sometimes you just need to pause. Slow down and catch your breath.  And once you’re ready…hop back on that train.  


P.S. What's the lottery got to do with anything??, I didn't hit the lottery, but lately my life sure feels like I did!  Happiness, love, amazing friends, beautiful opportunities and a rich life full of magic….feels like hitting the lottery to me!  ;)

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

{{ You’re Stronger Than You Think }}


No, I’m not a size 2. I don’t always eat what I’m supposed to. I have curves. I'm not even close to perfect. (Don't want to be! I'm too damn good of a baker to even pretend like I could be! )😂 ;) )🍪)
But guess what?? I'll never. EVER. stop working for a stronger, more fit body.
I’ll never stop trying to be a better me.
I’ll never stop working for a richer spiritual life.
I'll never stop working for more challenging experiences and deeper relationships.
If there’s one thing I've learned this year (already!) it’s that I'm quite the fighter. I can get super depressed. I can wish I wasn't alive. I can be betrayed by someone I loved and trusted. I can hit rock bottom...but I just keep going.
One breath at a time.
One foot in front of the other.
One day at the gym after the other.
One small improvement after another.
And the reward for not giving up? Self confidence. A deep knowing that no matter what comes my way, I am stronger than it is. A love for myself like I’ve never had. And so much inner peace. 🙏
I don't need to compare myself to anyone but me. I'm a better version of me today than I was a year ago. And next year I'll be even better. And that’s all that matters.
I’ll never be perfect, but I am unstoppable.
Watch me.
(And P.S. You're unstoppable too! <3 )


Tuesday, March 1, 2016

»»»--- HEART to HEART -----»

For those of you who don't know....hearts follow me. 
About 2 years ago, I asked for a sign, and since then, hearts literally show up everywhere I go. Not just actual heart shaped things, but things that accidentally look like hearts in nature. I take them as a good sign that I'm on the right journey.
From time to time I'm going to share one of my heart finds, along with a personal heart to heart story for you as a way to show you how much nutrition and health are affected by our "story".
I'm a master nutrition therapist by trade, but if there's one thing I've learned BIG TIME this year, it's that nutrition is just one *teeny tiny* part of the health equation.
So I'm going deeper. I have a lot more to offer than just nutrition advice. We are much more complicated than what our "diet" looks like. Amiright?? Let's talk about those things.
»» Let's go beyond the green smoothie. ««
I want to hear your stories and find out what feeds YOUR happy.
For example, this photo today is probably one of my favorite finds even though I have over 600 heart photos and just saw this one a few days ago. I was standing in the right spot, with just the right point of view, and two completely different pieces lined up to form a heart.
It was taken at my gym.
I say *my* gym for two reasons: I work there as a nutritionist, but it has also become a place where I found my strength. Not just the obvious muscle strength, but the ever elusive internal kind. Ahhh. 🙌
I haven't always been a "gym rat", in fact most of the time I exercised my excuse muscle more than anything else. But because I am always striving to be better, and determined to be stronger, emotionally and physically, than ever, I've managed to create a habit of hitting the gym 5-6 days a week for the first time in my life.
»» And I'm freaking proud of that. ««
It feeds my happy. It's nourishment for my soul. The obvious physical effects are one thing....but the internal confidence and belief in myself are priceless. 
What are you doing to conquer your demons and become a better you? Are you striving to become the best version of you or have you given up hope? How can I help you feed your happy? 

Big love and magic!  ~ Christy <3



Thursday, October 8, 2015

I hired a Dietician!

So, if you follow my facebook page, you already know that I'm going to be doing the LEAP protocol and MRT test. Just had the blood test a few days ago, so I'll be getting my results in about two weeks. My lovely dietician is Courtney Rinehold of Rinehold Nutrition. Yes, I'm a nutritionist and I just hired a dietician.  Crazytown, right?  She's so amazing though, and the only one doing the LEAP testing around my area. We discovered this on our way to a buddhist temple to meditate a few weeks ago. I'll save that story for another blog. ;)

Anywho, you might be wondering what the LEAP protocol and MRT testing is. I'd tell you, but it's a little too sciency for me this early in the morning and I wanted to just bust this blog out super quick like, so I'll give you the official version at a later time.  But for now, the gist is: certain foods cause inflammation in the body.  Each person has different foods that do this.  Sometimes those foods can be tricky tricky healthy ones, like spinach, salmon, basil, lettuce, almonds etc.....which is just mean!  This inflammation leads to ALL THE THINGS that could be wrong with you.  IBS, Crohn's, aches and pains, depression, fatigue, migraines, weight fluctuations...the list goes on for days.  The goal is to remove those inflammatory foods for a certain amount of time until your body heals, inflammation goes away, and then you can gradually add these foods back in to a degree that won't trigger the inflammation again. Easy peasy, right?  Probably not.  I am going into this assuming all my favorite foods are what's causing the inflammation, but with Courtney's help, and my own foodie creativity, I should be fine.  Plus, I'm kinda desperate and this is fascinating, so here we go.

My main reasons for doing this testing are as follows:

1.) I can't seem to lose weight.  Scratch that. I can lose the weight, but I am really struggling with staying on a healthy diet that will actually help me lose the weight.  This could possibly have to do with how inflammation is affecting the communication between my brain and the hormone leptin.  Food addictions and cravings are all part of this equation.  See this article HERE. So, let's say my go-to healthy/clean eating foods are THE PROBLEM. Well then that would explain the vicious cycle of starting a clean diet, and falling right off within a few days.

2.) SOFA. KING. Tired.  Like woah.  So tired.

3.) Hashimotos.  Yes, I have had hashimotos for about 20 years, but this whole inflammation thing is connected and can only improve this condition, which will only improve everything else, like metabolism, immune system, fatigue, etc.

4.)  Bursitis in my leg and plantar fasciitis in my foot. Did I mention I'm 90?

So those are MY top reasons for doing this testing.  It's not cheap and may not be covered by your insurance, so I don't recommend you get this unless you're serious about it.

I'll be following up in two weeks after the results are in, and will keep you informed of what I'm eating and how it's all going. If you have any questions, let me know!  If you've done this before, I'd love to hear your story too!

In the meantime, let's all say a prayer that sour cream isn't one of my NO foods, mmmkay??  Thanks!  xoxo

Friday, April 3, 2015

Gluten free class at Cancer Services of Northeast Indiana

Hey, errybody!  Long time, no blog.  :D  Sorry about that, life snuck up on me. But, let's get right to the point, shall we?  I am a Master Nutrition Therapist, in case you don't know. And when I get the chance to spread the nutrition love, it's always very rewarding.  Like last night, for example, I held a gluten free cooking class for Cancer Services of Northeast Indiana.  The room was full of people eager to soak up the information I had for them...and even more eager to eat all the foods.

Like these Easy Paleo Tortillas and veggie noodles for example:



The oohs and ahhhs I was getting from just veggies sautéed in olive oil and sprinkled with a bit of salt and pepper was amazing. You'd think I had served them a 5 star meal.  And that is always music to my ears.  Veggies are good. Sometimes you just need to get creative with em.

The tortillas are great for sandwich bread replacement or any kind of burrito. And they're ridiculously easy to make.  And the veggie noodles cook up in no time, if you're looking for some quick, easy meals to make during the week (or even prep ahead!  These can both be made in larger batches and used throughout the week) look no further.  The kids will even have fun helping you peel them, which will (hopefully) lead them to want to eat some!  ;)

The julienne peeler I prefer can be found here. But you can find different ones now at most major grocery chains, I believe.

If you try these tips, let me know!  I'd love to hear what you think.  Happy eating! <3

________________

Do you want me to come to your place/company and teach a healthy cooking class?  Contact me for rates!  260.580.2759